Worried or Distracted?

[islander]

Greetings,
Thanks to False Alarm for getting this up and running. I hope it will see a lot of use.

I'm new to this culture. My oldest brother was a Vancouver City Police officer for many years until his recent retirement but that's not the same as being partnered with someone in this service.

Until recently all the "what ifs" had been theoretical. While he has many years in service we're both new to the local team. Last weekend he was called up to Kamloops with an officer and one other ff. I helped him prep to leave then dropped him off at the hall. He had expressed surprise at my calmness. I thought it was normal until I pulled away from the hall and tears filled my eyes. I took a deep breath, swallowed hard and drove home.

Even though I don't know them very well, I have a lot of faith in the men my partner went up with. I wasn't worried about him as much as I was distracted. It was an odd sensation for me. How do others feel when they send their partner out on something like this? How do you feel when the pager goes off at 0200 hrs, which hasn't happened to me... yet. :-)

I'm sure there are as many different ways of feeling as there are partners. I hope we'll get a chance to share things here.

All the best,
Susan

[islander]

Greetings,

Well, I'm no longer worried or distracted. My partner arrived home safe and sound last Saturday, none the worse for wear.

It's been an interesting week. Watching him interact with his team and hearing the stories of comraderie between the departments. One of his comments was about a dispatcher. Apparently when she was introduced one morning everyone applauded. This woman was so professional and so skilled at her job that firefighters had total confidence in her. Unfortunately I don't recall her name.

My partner talked about how level and calm her voice was. Nothing seemed to flap her. He knew that if he called something in that the information would be passed immediately to the appropriate people. She'll never know how much *I* appreciate the job she was doing.

It was a fantastic experience for him and I'm grateful he had the opportunity to go and help out. I'd like to hear from others who had partners helping out in the BC interior this month. If you're not comfortable posting, feel free to email me privately. islander@firehall.com

All the best,
Susan

[thebloke]

Susan, why not volunteer yourself and be there in one way or another. It will reduce your worry and anxiety. My whole family volunteers, my son and I are on the crew and my wife is the despatcher. It's one way of being there for him and for others.

[Riss]

I get worried too. My boyfriend is a firefighter, and I worry constantly. I am turning 17, so I can hardly wait another year until I can help out and join the department. It is hard not being there and not knowing what is happening.

[FFwife]

Hi all...my hubby is a ff...volunteer in Ont...and I am worried every time...my Dad was on the same dept when I was a kid, and eventually the chief...so I guess I should be used to it, but it doesn't work that way, does it?
That pager goes off at noon or midnight, or anywhere in between, and there they go...and knowing that the volly depts dont seem to get the funding for the equip that other, bigger depts might doesnt help either.
I have confidence in the others on the dept, so that's not so much an issue...but anything can happen, right?
Man, it feels good to get that out...thanks so much for whoever started this thread...my hubby is on here all the time, but I didnt know that there was a spot for me too...thanks.

[MrsFF]

FFwife,

First of all welcome to the site from one firefighter's wife to another.

I know it can be hard sometimes, but I feel if I think about it too much it makes it worse. Just remember there are a whole lot of other wives (or in some cases, husbands) that are thinking the same way you are.

Keep in mind, you are never alone. I have found that we have a big support group on this site.

[MFDFF33]

Good day Ladies,

As MrsFF put it... Certainly there is support here on this site, if you have any questions I'm sure someone here can help answer or at least give some advice to try and help. I know my wife gets worried sometimes, especially after seeing Ladder 49. But I think she tries not to worry because we are constantly training in Musquash (and I'm sure most other depts would do that as well) this way she knows that we'll be fine in any given situation. Now that being said I'm not saying we will have no problems because let's face it with this job anything can happen, and no two calls are the same. Any questions feel free to post (that's the beauty of this site)

Cheers,

[Tango]

To all the ladies out there that help at their s/o's hall... how do you approach this w/ your s/o, and the hall itself? Are you're s/o's supportive of your help, or are some of them weary and kind of like it to be "their thing" ? My s/o is just getting going, finally hired on. Would love to help out at whatever hall he ends up at, is there a need for wives/gf's/so's at most of the halls? What does this entail, i would love to look into this, and see what other's currently do to stay involved.
Would definately be interested in this after he is settled in....

Thank you.....

[Emma89]

I've been distracted lately. I feel lost and I don't know what I want from life. I don't know if I am on the right path to getting what I really want or I will never get what I want anyways. I am not close friends with anyone any more. Sometimes I feel like my friends don't really care about me. My friends stopped telling me stories because they say that I don't listen and that I am living in a world of my own. And that's because I really don't like the place I live in. I've been dreaming of getting out of this town for 6 years now and I couldn't. Not until I graduate from college. I don't feel hungry anymore and I am a bit depressed. I have exam too. I feel so lost. I want to know more about life. Tour the world. I am up 4 adventures. Is that normal?

[dentedhead]

I've been distracted lately. I feel lost and I don't know what I want from life. I don't know if I am on the right path to getting what I really want or I will never get what I want anyways. I am not close friends with anyone any more. Sometimes I feel like my friends don't really care about me. My friends stopped telling me stories because they say that I don't listen and that I am living in a world of my own. And that's because I really don't like the place I live in. I've been dreaming of getting out of this town for 6 years now and I couldn't. Not until I graduate from college. I don't feel hungry anymore and I am a bit depressed. I have exam too. I feel so lost. I want to know more about life. Tour the world. I am up 4 adventures. Is that normal?

If you are being honest about how uou are feeling I stronly reccomend seeing a Dr.You are describing some s/s of clinicall depression,I am not a Dr but do understand s/s of clinical dpression.

I will presume you are a younger person so the itchy feet are normal best way to see the world is either go to work on a cruise ship or join the navy travel and get paid.

Dentedhead

[Sandi]

I've been distracted lately. I feel lost and I don't know what I want from life. I don't know if I am on the right path to getting what I really want or I will never get what I want anyways. I am not close friends with anyone any more. Sometimes I feel like my friends don't really care about me. My friends stopped telling me stories because they say that I don't listen and that I am living in a world of my own. And that's because I really don't like the place I live in. I've been dreaming of getting out of this town for 6 years now and I couldn't. Not until I graduate from college. I don't feel hungry anymore and I am a bit depressed. I have exam too. I feel so lost. I want to know more about life. Tour the world. I am up 4 adventures. Is that normal?

Suggest you check out kidshelpphone website (.ca) and go to the Your Space section. It might be intended for younger people, but there may be some advice to help you find your focus. (Also, some vigorous exercise like running or dancing will trigger endorphins to boost your mood, but anything you can think of that makes you happy would be a good thing to do for yourself.) Good luck with your exams.