rolled up on accident in personal vehicle

[QWEST6]

Hey guys/gals,

I just need to vent....I have talked with a guy from my volunteer hall (retired military SAR tech) about this and it helped.

Last Friday night (May 16) driving home around 9:30 PM south of Warkworth, Ontario after working out of town all week I came across an accident. OPP had 2 vehicles on scene, fire and ambulance had not arrived yet.
I saw a transport tanker truck on its side in the West ditch (heading north) and a chev cavalier in the west shoulder that had been "t-boned" on the driver side.

I grabbed some gloves and introduced myself to the OPP officer that I was a volunteeer FF and if I could help. He asked me to try and help him find a pulse of the victims. I went up to the car and saw 3 young women. I tried to find a pulse on all three and could not. By this time Fire and paramedics were arriving.

I could not help out any more and told the OPP I was leaving. He thanked me for helping and asked if I was alright. I said I was.

After driving the 25 minutes home I could not help think of the 3 young lives that were taken so quickly and the 3 families that will never be the same. I also felt bad for the truck driver who has to live with this for the rest of his life.

I heard on the news that the women were 19-20 years old and were killed at the scene. They were all from a small local town. The news reported they made a "U-turn" in front of the transport.

Sorry for the long post, I know I will have this (and other) images in my head for a long time and I have made freinds with them knowing I did the best I could do.

Stay safe,

QWEST6

[Roadwarrior]

Q...I hear you...you need to go for some Critical Incident Counselling...ASAP. There are a couple of good sources in this area. Get in touch with D/C Whalen....he'll set you up.

[FitSsikS]

Ohhhhh, this one:

CityNews (http://www.citynews.ca/news/news_22818.aspx)

The Toronto Star (http://www.thestar.com/News/Ontario/article/427004)

The Toronto Sun (http://www.torontosun.com/News/Canada/2008/05/18/5603101-sun.html)

[FLASHOVER05]

I caught that one on the news last night.... Sad! must be devastating to the family of these individuals.

QWEST6, seek out help! we're a good starting point. Take care and talk as much as you can, there is always the saying take care of those you can.

Good luck

[warden]

I've been something similar, another resource for you is the tema conter foundation. tema.ca . Your dept should have a CIS program in place, take advantage of it ASAP. TEMA will help set you up with a councelor, but it is not a free service after the assessment. Stay active, and keep busy with friends.

[QWEST6]

I really appreciated those of you who took the time to reply to me. This is not the first time I have dealt with death nor the first "young" death. I just felt for the families and especially the trucker who's life will never be the same. I am doing well and realize I will see their faces in my thought for a long time, and I am at peace with that.

I drove by the location of the MVC today. Their are many bunches of flowers and three crosses.

Stay safe.

Q.

I

[intricate]

QWEST6,

I read about this accident in the Ottawa Sun today. It's a shame; the three of them were so young.

It was really a senseless accident, and we will probably never know what exactly possessed the young woman to pull a U-Turn in front of a tanker truck that she had recently passed, but you can know that you did everything you could do...

You can use this experience as inspiration and drive to do your best to help other responders who encounter similar incidents, as well as future victims of similar circumstances. You can use this experience as a way to deter others from doing the same, and thereby prevent it from happening again.

Whatever you choose to do, don't choose to beat yourself up about it. It was way beyond your control. The girls were DOA, and you couldn't have done anything other than what you did.

Good on you for offering help when you were needed, and I will say the same as the rest of the guys--seek out Critical Incident Stress management...

[Rescue78]

The images will stay for a while Q. You stated that this is not your first experience with deceased people. What might make this one a little different is that you were not on dutie. You were not paged out. So you were not in firefighter mode per say. Your subconscious did not have time to go from "driving home, everything is great" mode to "I'm going to rescue someone and might see some unpleasant things" mode.

When I perform a rescue, I am in a state of mind that is all about work and being part of a team that works to rescue the person. In your case, the human element was that much greater.

You are doing the right thing. Talk about it. Don't let it eat you. Be active. Be social. Watch your sllep pattern and your appetite. DO NOT HESITATE TO CONSULT. Your reaction is NORMAL.

[Eno_75]

I agree with everyone who posted about having someone who understands to talk to. One thing I enjoy so much about working on the floor is that you can "off-gas" the stress a bit around the table while sitting around or while out in the bays generally BSing about different things. It helps get the stuff out in the open so you don't lock it up and let it eat away at you. Sometimes it's borderline macabre to sit around and spell out details of certain calls- but everyone at the table was there, or has been there and you can move on until the next time it digs into you. I call it a pressure relief valve.

Not so easy when the people you are around more often than not can't empathize with you. It's hard not to want to talk to people about it, but at the same time some of them get so upset about it you feel doubly horrible even bringing it up.

Times are changing and it's not frowned on to get some help- in fact, if you want longevity in the field you need to maintain your body AND your mind. Sometimes, writing it out is enough- other times, it's not.

Best of luck with it... keep us posted!

[QWEST6]

Thanks again for the replies :)

I got called out yesterday evening for a VSA. I'm on quite a roll. 0 for 4 ;)

In all seriousness, I am doing good I have pretty much talked to everyone that will listen, I brought it up during training night with hall and it has really helped. Hopefully I have shown some of the younger guys that it does not make you less of a man to act tough and keep it bottled in, it will blow eventually.

On a positive note I am looking forward to sitting at the Rogers Centre tonight while my Daughter and her school choir sings the national anthems for the Jays game.

Stay safe,

Q

[Rescue78]

Awesome Q. Go stand proud as your daughter sings. Great moment for her.

[PocketHercules]

Hey Q

I'm a Pre-service Firefighter. I'm also a Mom, and a wife.

I want you to know that I appreciate you opening up and sharing the impact this has had on you. In all my training I try my best to imagine the training scenarios as "real." I try to imagine how everyone around might be reacting to the incident, including myself. There are a lot of differences (obviously) between training and the REAL DEAL. What always sticks out in my mind is that in training, we always win. Unfortunately, with the REAL DEAL, that isn't always the case. Truthfully I believe that there is nothing that can fully prepare a person to accept the darker side of Firefighting. We are human, after all.

Listening to you, others like you and seeing the SUPPORT that is offered from your brother Firefighters - really is the closest I can come to preparing myself for accepting the inevitable losses. So, thank you for sharing your expirience. It is helpful for you to talk about it, as the guys have mentioned, but ALSO helpful for others to hear about it.

[jaden]

Hello,

Virtually all activities in life entail some level of risk, and we all have different attitudes toward risk. At one end of the scale is refusing to engage in an activity by exaggerating the level of risk involved. At the other end is engaging in very risky activities while refusing to take any precautions. Neither of these attitudes are useful for living an empowered life. What is useful is to accurately assess the risks, take those precautions that make sense, and live as fully as possible.

Thanks..

nysponline.com