Women at the firehall

Family forum: ask questions, share concerns; dealing with family stress, how to cope with the loss of a loved one...
firewifey
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:33 pm

Women at the firehall

Postby firewifey » Wed Sep 16, 2015 12:23 am

I know firemen cheat. My ff dh swears he doesn't and couldn't ever cheat, but I've caught him in the act offering my closest friend a back rub and consoling her when I can't even get him to touch me. He's been busted hundreds of times jerking off since we've been married, & has openly talked to other women for advice about our relationship instead of telling me he had issues with me or our marriage and would act at home like everything is fine and happy. I was totally and completely caught off guard when I would hear him confiding and crying to other women about how awful our marriage is. I'm not that oblivious, trust me. He, at that time, had always appeared happy and loving our relationship. He's recently changed fire halls with the last bid list and is now at a hall with a female fire fighter. She went there with the last bid list too (according to him) & he supposedly had no clue she was bidding there too. However in the past he has ALWAYS known who was bidding where & for what shift and what position. Now all of a sudden with the most recent bid list he claims you can no longer see who is bidding where on what shift. He used to call/text me several times all through out the day and night at the other halls he was at, but now he wants to call at 7:30-8:00 every night to say he is going to bed when knowing good and well he doesn't and hasn't ever gone to bed that early even at home. Any time I have called him when he is on shift since transferring he talks mean or down to me, and if I call or text him after he says he is going to bed he sounds frustrated and ticked off that I'm even calling. This firefighter is really his type, country and friendly but ugly in the face and a redneck. I'm not and never have been. Every time he has talked about her he kust praises everything about her and she has no faults. All I ever hear is everything wrong with me.I honestly feel like the only reason he stays married is because he fears splitting the kids up and paying child support/alimony (even though he vehemently denies that with a passion). Should I be concerned or let it go? I struggle with this every time he is on shift especially at night. Those of you who have cheated whether it be emotionally, physically, or mentally do you have any tips on what I should look out for as cues to something going on and things I shouldn't even worry about. I know y'all"stick up for your brothers" but I am at the point to where I can't even focus on anything else once I let my mind go there. I know you have to have trust in a marriage and somewhere I'd like to think that I do, but after catching him red handed in the act with my own eyes and ears lying straight to my face over the course of 10 years, it is hard to even believe him when he is looking me straight in the eye.

firemarshallbill
Posts: 318
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:33 pm

Postby firemarshallbill » Wed Sep 16, 2015 6:04 pm

You shouldn't be blaming his potential cheating nature on FF's. My only advice would be to get some serious counselling. There's always two sides to the coin, but judging from what you wrote alone, you deserve much better and will be happier for it.

FMB

infernobuster
Posts: 507
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:33 pm

Postby infernobuster » Thu Sep 17, 2015 10:18 pm

I read the first sentence, and laughed out loud. Really loud.

This isnt "days of our lives" here, go seek counselling for yourself .
All men are created equal, a few become fire fighters.

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GuitarKing
Posts: 124
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:33 pm

Postby GuitarKing » Fri Sep 25, 2015 10:07 am

Wow. I'm sorry to hear all that, and I sympathize with you. I'm not in the place to give you marriage advice, but perhaps some guidance from professional consoling would be well suited to this situation.
"Ambition is the path to success, persistence is the vehicle you arrive in."
— William Eardley IV


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