GF / Spouse give up

Family forum: ask questions, share concerns; dealing with family stress, how to cope with the loss of a loved one...
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Postby doc_ » Fri Jan 18, 2008 10:25 am

Well said rugby
semper eadam

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Postby FFChick » Fri Jan 18, 2008 2:48 pm

Good job Rugby! Couldn't have said that better myself!

Live life to your only live once!

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Postby ruff » Sun Jan 20, 2008 10:21 pm

well who needs dr phil!?
lots of good feedback thanks everone!
The only point i guess i can comment on is the response on stability.
I guess this is more subjective than anything but with stability i meant that right now I could be living anywhere from thompson manitoba to ft macmurray ab. depending on where I land my dream job. These have several considerations when relocating a family esp when children
are involved. Some may disagree but i feel a firefighting career is living a hard won dream, one that I have been working towards for years. yes there are some risks and sacrifices ie shift work, health concerns etc, but every career has its short falls. To me, this career represents the chance to do what you love by helping out those in need and doing it surrounded by those who love it as much as you do. That alone makes it worth any sacrifice.
thanks again everyone for taking the time to respond

PS million bucks or not its what we do that defines us not what we got..therefore I'll take the firefighter career.....just my $.02

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Postby mrhuckfinn » Sat Feb 09, 2008 8:15 pm

Well said Rugby!! They say Firefighting has one of the highest divorce rates, cause of all the wierd hours, the boys only time, the missed holidays and them never really being able to understand what happens at the hall, and what you do. If you arnt 110% solid going into it, its not going to last a long time anyways! If she wont put up with the B.S of trying to get hired, will she put up with all the other stuff?
Just my opinion of course, but I'm so lucky my girl has given me 100% no questions during the hiring, and now on the job as its a success we share now!

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The heart

Postby angelwithhorns » Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:13 am

Go with your gut and listen to your heart. Don't ever give up on your dreams. If she can't wait then what are you to do? When you have a dream follow it and don't let anyone or anything get in your way. You only live once. All the best to you.

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Hmmmmm what would Dr. Phil say....

Postby cranky » Fri Mar 07, 2008 8:25 pm

I just say that I'm with #3 the first two just didn't seem to get it. Now my wife says shes behind 100%, she does begrudge those weeks that I'm never home cause I am training or teaching or working and when I have choices if I go to teach at another hall she prefers i pick her, and sometimes I do. She knows what it means to me to be a firefighter and that I wouldn't be me if I wasn't, she deals with best she can, and appreciates the time we have together and is proud when one of her friends says they saw me go into a house or on a roof or at that car accident. If she's the one then she's the one, cause if you're a firefighter you're a firefighter period, might as well be putting out fires.

If I have to explain you wouldn't understand anyway

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Postby Goose651 » Sat Mar 08, 2008 10:13 pm

I must be one of the lucky ones. My wife has stuck with me through some pretty stressful times. Being in the military, she has suffered with me being on 2 tours overseas, and an occupational transfer to firefighter. Which for the military firefighters is a 5 month course for apprentice. Then home for 8 months, OJT. Back on course for another 4 months, journeyman and HAZMAT tech (missed my son's first birthday). Posted to ship 8 months after that course. Sailing on a HMCS Ship off and on for two years. Back on my supervisor course which was 3 months,(missed another first birthday). Posted to Winnipeg for 10 months. Now I'm here in Ontario at the fire academy looking for a department so that we can settle in one spot. And yes she is supporting me with this. I for some reason I am unsuccessful we'll be posted again in 2010. Like I said I am pretty lucky.
Last edited by Goose651 on Sat Mar 08, 2008 10:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: more info
Training could get you hurt. Lack of training can get you killed!!!

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Postby DFC » Tue Mar 11, 2008 8:17 am

Stick to your plan. I would question why she is in such a rush to get married? Some folks think that a ring and an “I do” will change their whole life and relationships. As a guy who has spent 21 years behind the iron curtain I can say it won't. I'm not saying marriage is not great, but if you are not ready and you want to wait until your career is a little more stable, then that’s what you should do. If not you will have resentments towards her if things don't work out the way you want. A divorce lawyer will cost you more than a marriage certificate.
"If you don't know where your going, any road will get you there"

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Postby gfd31 » Fri Mar 21, 2008 10:05 pm

Before I joined as a volunteer, I asked my wife what she thought about the prospect of a pager being on 24/7 and the potential ramifications on sleep, famly etc.

She said "If that's what you want to do, then go for it"...

Now she just can't wait for my pager to "go-off" so she can have the house to herself!

IMO, you need the support of your family, and your friends to be a success in this business.

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Postby HookandLadder » Mon Jan 23, 2012 1:59 pm

Geeez. This is an old thread....but i agree 100% with "RugbyCanada". Very great post..I had to comment. It's a great perspective.
" When the elevator doors open, if it's hot...dont get out!" - Lt. Steven McCaffrey

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